they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
