Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
