I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
