What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
