Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
