I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there's paper in my vomit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
