If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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