i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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