guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
