The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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