ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
