I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's always time for handjobs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When are your genitals available?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
