there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
