i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
