I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
