My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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