im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
