i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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