Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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