Do vagina's smell?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
