hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
