I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
