You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
