Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
