She announced her abortion via fbk
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
