Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
