That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
