i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
