I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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