It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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