I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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