i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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