If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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