i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its not stalking. its research.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
