i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
