girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
