That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
