Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
