duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
