He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i think i have two assholes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
