I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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