I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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