Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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