just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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