We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
