Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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