Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
