Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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