I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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