Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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